Burden

I know, it’s been a very long while since I’ve made any updates to my blog.  I’ve thought and thought and contemplated about ending it.  I’m at a place where blogging about Down syndrome wasn’t so important to me.  I thought that my journey was complete. You know, since Lillian having Down syndrome takes very little space and time in my life, it just didn’t seem like her every little movement or new trick seemed all that exciting anymore (exciting enough to blog about at least).  She is just Lillian…our little tornado! And since being a Navy wife isn’t so exciting when you’re husband is on shore duty, I didn’t have anything fun or witty to share.

But, maybe I’m not done. 

So, the topic of my post today is called “Burden”.  Many times I hear the same story of why a family chooses to abort a child with a disability.  And the main focus is the burden factor.  If you really think about it, most children can be a burden.  They take up your time, space and money.  If I was childless, I would have more money to spend and so much free time that I could take a daily nap if I wanted.  BUT, you see, my children are not burden’s, because I love them.  All of them.

One of my favorite TV shows, “Parenthood” brought this one word in my mind.  The story line is the daughter learning to drive, the mother becomes very irrational, she thinks about the what ifs.  She worries about her son (who has Autism) and who will take care of him when she and her husband are no longer around.  And during a very emotional moment she tells her daughter that she doesn’t want to put that burden on her daughter, to be Max’s care taker.  And a change of momentum happens when the daughter says something on these lines “I will take care of him…He’s my brother…He’s not a burden, I love him”. 

That made me realize that when you raise a family to love, that there will be no burdens.  My children are loved so much, that I can’t possibly think of them as my burdens.  And I just know that my Katie and Charlie will have so much love that Lillian will never be a burden on them. 

So, I will forever think that the burden factor is a cop out.  It shows me that somewhere down the line, you forgot how to show and give love and the only thing you pass down is the burden of a sad memory.

Technorati Tags: Down syndrome,Burden,autism,Parenthood,family

A very serious parenting dilemma

So, I have a daughter with Down syndrome.  Everyday, I work with her, play with her, stimulate her senses, and make her laugh.  She receives Physical Therapy and sees a Developmental Specialist, both once a week.  I feel like I'm still not doing enough.  I'm reading a lot of blogs, and then suddenly I feel like I'm not giving Lillian the very best.  

Here is my dilemma.  If I feel that I'm not doing enough for Lillian, did I completely fail in raising Katie and Charlie?  No, I know the answer is No.  But, now I'm thinking that I never did so much with the two oldest like I have with Lillian.  That's what is making me feel horrible.

I guess I never knew how much I took for granted.  

I know going forward, I will make sure to pay special attention to all their needs, whatever they may be.  And to make sure, that they each get my undivided attention (well, most of it).  After all, they're still young children and have a lot of growing to do.  So, hopefully the damage hasn't set in!