Beautiful

*I rarely speak about God and my faith in my blog. But this time I will a little.  God is part of my life and always will be.  I also understand that there will be those who find the thought of God to be absolutely ludicrous, but I’m OK with that.  For, this is the path I have chosen, and it’s been a decent one to be on.*

It’s 4:30 a.m. and I can’t go back to sleep.  I had such a horrible dream.  A dream that played up every negative thought that I’ve had about myself.

Here’s a recap of this dream:

The kids and I have a very rare (almost non-existent) chance to go visit my husband at the location where his submarine is docked at.  I am super excited because I’m (1) Going to see my husband who I miss and (2) I get to visit a tropical island and enjoy the sand, sun and ocean in a different part of the world.

When we get there, the families who came to visit have to sit through a briefing of what we can and cannot do while visiting the island.  It’s also at this time my husband introduces me to his friend.  A person who he has been spending time with since our separation.  This person happens to be this amazingly beautiful girl with perfect skin, hair and body. Seriously…her?

At this point, I’m starting to fall apart inside.  We are told to take a seat before the briefing begins and we are sitting in the back of the room.  And she suggest that we move up front, to see better.  Well, the seats up front are tiny. He agrees with her and we move and I’m feeling more and more dreadful.  Of course, I am now so uncomfortable because I’m forcing myself to sit in a chair that’s way too small for me.

After this, everywhere we go, she is to go with us.  And I become more and more resentful.  But at who?  Me or him? 

I drive myself crazy that I stop spending time with him altogether so he ends up spending time with her. It’s her…her…her

I am awake now and feeling like crap. As soon as I woke up I sent my husband an email, but I knew I wasn’t going to get a response, but I need confirmation now to make get rid of this dreadful feeling.

I’m realizing this dream is from a horrible seed that was planted in my head.  I seed that I probably fed, watered and grew.  “I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL” is the name of this seed.  I am short, fat and ugly.  Why would he be happy with me when he has so many other beautiful women to choose from?  Why am I not happy with myself?  Am I really that much of a looser?  Do I really need him to make me feel better about myself? 

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

What I do know, is every unwanted and ugly thought I’ve had about myself is risen back to make me feel worthless, again. Crap.

Like I said, it was a seed.  This seed started to grow the minute my husband left for deployment.  And it grew every day.  I started to feel unsettled and irritated.  What little communication we had just seem to make it worse.  I started having feelings that I put away a long time ago.  Why now? 

Maybe, because I was never the beautiful girl or the prettiest. I was short and cute (really, who wants to be cute?). I have a sister who is absolutely gorgeous.  I grew up with friends who had many boyfriends and I had none.  The only people that told me I was beautiful were my parents…I mean, it’s their job.

What was always lacking was making myself feel beautiful.

Beautiful.

Isn’t that what we all want?  Just to feel beautiful?

And then, there’s trust.  You have to have trust.  Our sailors visit parts of the world where they get to see beautiful things and very exotic women.  But I trust him.  I have in the past. I have to now. It’s just when you’re feeling bad about yourself is when you start to loose trust.  But I trust him.

See, can you see how one tiny little seed spreads like an ugly weed? 

Finally, I get an email…but not from him.  It’s my daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries “My thoughts vs. God’s words”.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10 (NKJV)

I swear, this could not have come at a more crucial time.  I get it.  This thief was destroying who I am and my confidence by planting this horrible seed in me.  He wanted me to feel ugly and untrusting of my husband.  If keep believing this, he would succeed at destroying my marriage and killing who I am meant to be. I can’t give into him, because I know it will only destroy not only me, but my family.

God sure did come at a good time.

Be committed. Matthew 5:33-37

He watches my paths and establishes my ways. Proverbs 5:21, 4:26

He will never leave me. He has plans for my life. Deuteronomy 31:6, Jeremiah 29:11

and finally my favorite: I’m wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I’m starting to see that I am beautiful.

Simply beautiful!

~

So, for the military wives out there, have you gone through this before during a deployment?  What did you do to make changes?

And for the non military wives, what ugly seeds have been planted that just threw you off the path?

Anniversary

Oh, the long break from blogging is almost like taking a break from working out/running.  Once you stop, it’s almost impossible to get started again.

I wanted to write today, specifically, because it is my 11th wedding anniversary to my wonderful sailor.  And for the 8th or 9th time, we are spending this time apart from each other.  Ah, yes, the wonderful life of a military wife!  Right now, Charlie is playing with his friend and the girls are enjoying a snack in the kitchen.  I’m sure, when they are much older, they will throw me a big party (I hope). 

My day has been pretty uneventful.  Kids went to school, I cleaned house, and got to message my hubby to tell him happy anniversary.  Kinda boring, huh?  But, I’m content with this.  As much as I would love to have him home and have a romantic night together, I understood this when I said “I do”.  Does it suck??? Oh, heck yeah, it does.  So, now I can just look forward to his return home to collect on this rain check.

Oh, I guess I never told my blogging friends that on June 19 (father’s day), he came home from deployment. The return of his boat was apparently news worthy.  I wish I would have known sooner, I would have sported something a lot more glamorous than my shorts and purple shirt.  But what the hey, at least there was a quick second on his behind and my side   One of the sweetest memories that happened on this day was a birth of a little girl.  This baby timed it just right and mom went into labor as the sailors landed in FL, so her daddy was able to leave the airport and go straight to hospital to be with his wife.

Click here ----> News Coverage <---- to see the news coverage that night of the homecoming.

As you all probably know, he’s on another deployment.  This time he left a couple of weeks after school started.  His last deployment went by smoothly, but this time, adjusting to life is just a little bit harder.  It broke my heart to see my babies cry as their daddy said goodbye to them.  But, I know it will be mended when he comes back home…in 3.5 long months!!!  It was much easier when they were younger, they didn’t think of him constantly and didn’t notice his absence so much.

So, how many special occasions have you all missed?  And, did you do anything special by yourself or just waited?

Happy Anniversary to ME!!!!

Ring…Ring…Ring…hello?

I wanted to share our fantastic Easter Gift! 

The kids and I shared our Easter with some great family friends, so we wouldn't be home alone.  They put together a great lunch and Easter egg hunt for the kids.

Thank You Friends!

So, on this day, my phone is ringing like heck from family and friends texting or calling to wish us a great Easter Day.

But the greatest phone call was from my man, who was out ten miles off the coast of somewhere!  The captain was nice enough to let the boat up and let the guys text and call for some time!  This was the first time I had ever gotten a call like that! 

It was pretty amazing except for the fact we have one of the crappiest phone services around.  We kept getting cut off, but the other guys were chatting away.  So, when he gets home, we are getting new phones. 

I wouldn't want to miss out on another phone call!

Have any of you guys gotten phone calls from unexpected places?

2 Weeks

It’s official.  It has been two weeks since the husband has been out to sea.  What a transition for me and the kids!  Actually, they are doing much better now.  In fact, they are handling my ever so mean hearted witch like mood swings I've had since the arrival of my monthly visit from Mother Nature has taken place!  

Normally, daddy is around to protect our children from being persecuted for leaving crumbs on the floor, but he's not here right now.  And I've been trying really really hard to make a conscious effort to divert the inner witch, but my son has unleashed her lashings more than once (only because he finds it humorous until he's been punished) until my inner self was able to put her away.

I wish I could share stories of how hard and depressing it is without him...and I just need someone to be here to help...or the this is when I need my family the most type stories.  But I don't have any right now..  I do have some very close friends of the family who have lend their support, but for the most part, we're doing pretty good! Don't take me wrong...I do miss him a lot.  And the kids really miss him too.  I just think we know how to keep ourselves occupied so we don't think about his absence everyday.

I say this now, this is only a one month sea trial.  So, I might be singing a different tune when he's gone for four!  We shall see!

For now, I thought I would share some cool pics for you all.  They are not high quality, but still cool!  They are pictures of the day the boat pulled out.  The kids and I never saw this before (shame on me) so I found it pretty exciting!  It kinda made me proud that my husband was working that boat!

Best U.S. Military Spouse Blog Nominations

There are SO MANY Military Spouse Blogs out there and many of them are Wonderful!  The spouses are blogging on just about everything possible, but the common thread is being a Military Spouse.

Right now you can vote for your favorite MilSpouse Blog for the 6th Annual Milspouse Conference.  If you want to nominate your favorite blog, please remember to read the rules to make sure the blog is properly nominated.

Now, go nominate someone!

Pre-Deployment...Navy Style

OK, I really should say Pre-Deployment Sub Force style.  I say this, because surface ships and submarines run a little differently than what most people think. Both surface ships and sub boats will have similar sea trials (this is where they take the boat out to make sure all is working well), but communication is extremely different.  But, these sea trials really prepares both sailors and families for their 3, 4 or 6 month deployments, depending on the type of submarine they are on.

Currently, this family is in the beginning of our first sea trial.  It's been a good 3 years since our last big separation, so the kids are taking this differently than I expected.  Although, my sailor is only going to be gone for a month, Katie seemed to have taken it the hardest.  I truly thought, she would be OK, since she remembers all the other times daddy was out on deployment.  But this time was hard.  It was hard for me to see her so sad and then finally break down and cry.  She's much better now, as she now has her own email account where daddy can send her direct emails.

I honestly thought, Charlie would be the one who would have the hardest time.  But, he's taking this quite well.  In fact, he said, "I really miss daddy.  I need him to help me pass the next level for Lego Indiana Jones".  Yep, my kid only needs his dad for video games!

Lillian is still really young and new to the whole thing.  For a few days, it seemed as if she didn't notice his disappearance, until the day she took my phone away to call daddy.  She had the longest conversation with him, I only wish he was really on the other end to hear all her babbling!

And for me...yes, I really do miss him!  But, all three kids are doing a great job of keeping me very busy.  This is the part where I have to put together a new family plan, a new system, to keep us going and staying sane.

The communication aspect of being a submarine wife sucks!  It really really sucks! It sucks because there is barely any communication at all.  And what little communication we get is through sporadic emails that are not very personal at all (because they are screened).  AND, being a wife of a submariner sucks more when your sailor is serving aboard a Trident/Boomer submariner, versus, a fast attack sub.  To me, because we've done just about every type of submarine deployment, I like the fast attack sub life a little bit more.  There is actual communication, via phone and web chat because they port at different locations around the world.  And, if you are lucky enough, you can actually travel to the different ports to be with your sailor.

Every situation and lifestyle for each family aboard the boats are different, so above "sucky" parts just happens to be my opinion.

So, really, this is a sucky pre-deployment to gear up for an even suckier deployment.

PCS move, house and the beach

I first want to share with the world that my three children traveled from California to Florida like champs.  They were absolutely the most wonderful kids on the trip across country…it was simply amazing!  I’m still in shock and can’t believe that they were my children who were traveling with us!

I know I haven’t shared much about our PCS move from CA to FL, well, because I just haven’t.  The drive was kind of boring, we didn’t stop to view the scenery, and the weather was icky.  So, there are almost no pictures to share.

But, this move marks our return to another Sea Duty command.  We will be adding 3 more years of saying “HI” and “Bye” every three to four months as they deploy and return back home. I should be used to it, since our family has been through many long and short deployments and unaccompanied tours. But this time I will be adding one more kid to this crazy venture.  I think it will go well…I hope it will go well! We shall see

The exciting news is I might have more interesting things to blog about, because being a wife of a submariner who is assigned to a boat means there will be some sort of drama…scandal…something that will buzz around the wives group (and girlfriends too).  And for the rest of the world who might get mad that I say wives group and not a spouses group, it’s only because there are no women serving aboard submariners (at this time).  But, I am curious to see what will happen when female sailors are introduce to the boats.  From what I’ve been told, there will be about 3 women on a submarine among 150 (+ or – a few) sailors.  I hope they all behave well.

And yes, I know there are no submarine bases in Northern Florida.  Technically, he is stationed in Southern Georgia, but we chose to reside in the Northern part of Florida.  AND, we are now homeowners to a brand new house that is literally 10 to 15 minutes away from the beach, which is really the topping on the cake.  AND, no, I am not completely moved in yet and I still have boxes to go through.  I have no pictures and curtains hung.  And there is a total lack of design taste in the house too.  But, I guess I’m not in any kind of hurry, since I know I won’t be moving for a very long time!  OK…truthfully, it’s because I’m spending most of my free time at the beach

 

(These pics are SOOC…so feel free to let me know how you would edit them to perfection)

Merry Christmas!

Didn't want to forget a Christmas post.  I hope everyone I know is having a wonderful Christmas with their friends and family!  We are celebrating our Christmas with my dad in Temecula, CA, before we head back East to Florida!

So far, so good...except my son will have to earn Christmas next year!  Five year old boys are not fun to be around when they are in a crabby mood.  Now, I completely understand that he is not happy with our move, neither am I, but these past two weeks leading up to today has been hellacious!  I've dreamt of breaking a wooden spoon on his behind more than I cared to.  I can only hope that once we are settled and moved into our new home, he will be back to his old happier persona!

And now, for a quick update on our whereabouts. 

We have officially PCS'ed out of Travis AFB, CA!  This move has been so bittersweet for me. Not only did I make friends with other military spouses, I made friends in the Down syndrome Community as well!  Friends that I hope will last a lifetime.  The people who helped Lillian grow strong and healthy.  The ones who knew her potential.  I will miss them dearly!  But,  part of being a military spouse is learning to say hello knowing that you will have to say goodbye, even if you are not ready.  I've made many friends playing this role.  And I've cried many times.  It is never easy to leave the ones you love, knowing that you will probably never see them again. But yet, we still move, say Hello and start all over again.  However, the sweet part to this move is moving closer to "home".  I use "home" in quotation marks because I really don't have a home (moved all over being a military brat myself).  But "home" is where I went to college, fell in love, got married and had my child.  Home is being closer to friends and family that we knew we would see again.  So, it's nice knowing that we are going back home.

Merry Christmas Everyone and have a Happy New Year!

31 for 21: pt. 3

Our last PCS move was from Washington to California.  Honestly, the move was pretty smooth.  The drive down with three kids and one dog went better than expected.

The problem happened right after our pack out as the driver pulled out of our driveway.  I had my master bathroom designated as a no pack zone.  Our luggage and other belongings were in the bathroom.  Sadly, I also left my wedding ring in a closed bag inside a drawer.  This ring was beautiful!  He had it made when he was working in Bahrain.  It was white gold with a very pretty princess cut diamond.  The band for the ring was created just for it also.  Well, as I head up stairs to freshen up for dinner, I opened the drawer and opened the bag and half the ring was missing!  One of the packers took off with the ring…not the band, but the ring that had the princess cut diamond on it!  What made the situation worse was the fact this happened late Friday night.  All I was able to do was call base security and filed a police report. 

When Monday came, I called EVERYONE that was involved with this move.  The moving company wanted no part in the matter.  In fact, it took over a year for us to resolve it in their favor.  According to them, I had no proof it was stolen or that I was probably lying about it.  The military didn’t cover it because they will not cover high value items.  So, by the time I finally decided to claim it on our insurance, they denied it also, because the claim is supposed to be filed within 90 days after the incident…not after a year

So, today, at this very moment I still do not have this ring.  I still have our original wedding ring, but the stolen one was a little bit more special because he designed the ring just for me.

Moral of this story is this:  DO NOT HAVE YOUR MOVERS PICK UP YOUR THINGS ON A FRIDAY!  BECAUSE NOTHING WILL HAPPEN OVER THE WEEKEND…

I can only hope for a very smooth and final PCS move this time around!

Are there any other horror stories out there beside mine???

31 for 21:24 pt.2

You guys just learned about our PCS move to Hawaii.  Now I need to share our PCS move to Italy.

It was decided sometime in 2006 that we were finally getting our chance to go to Italy!  We were so EXCITED!  Because we lived in Hawaii and our things had to be shipped to Italy, our pack out date was at least a month before we left the island.  We also decided to leave base housing and rented a small condo about a block from Waikiki beach...pretty awesome!

Everything was going smoothly until about a week before we were due to leave.  He still had orders for Italy, but this time they changed it so he had to go without his family. Bummer, right?  At this point, I only knew that I had to go to Washington.  I had no idea where in Washington I had to go.  Everything was pretty sketchy.  So, it was decided that the kids and I would stay with my dad in Southern California and then catch up with him in the summer. (a 15 hour nonstop flight with a 21 month old is no fun!  I brought a change of clothes for the kids, but not for me...)

The day before we were suppose to leave was hectic.  Our car was towed because we forgot to move it at a certain time.  We ended up spending the day trying to get our car out so we could put it on the boat going to California.  That same day, he was finalizing our travel arrangements.  We decided to fly back to Florida and say our goodbyes there.  It also gave him the chance to see friends and family again.

We went back and forth over the phone trying to find the ideal flight for our family and dog.  When all was said and done, we spent the night at our friends house and had our final goodbyes.  PAY ATTENTION....a few hours before we said our farewells, we had to take the dog to be boarded first. By this time us moms and girls were crying and hugging and telling each other we would see each other again.  It was very sad to leave great friends, whom I considered family.  My very sad daughter cried all the way to the airport.  When we arrived to the airport, I started to realize that what I thought was our departing time was not the same time on our ticket!  I truly went by the million conversations I had with him about travel arrangements and didn't look at the tickets!  Needless to say, our dog made it to Florida and we didn't.

At this point, we are blaming each other for missing the flight.  What made it worse was the fact we had to call our friends to pick us up at the airport after our very sad goodbyes...the next morning the girls were so confused!  After I took care of things we were finally on our way to Florida...but with a 24 hour lay over in Seattle, WA.  Thank you lord for the USO!

By the time we got to Florida, our dog had already spent 3 days before us!  I'm not sure if I ever want to fly again.  Murphy is not my friend!

(Mili)ing it Over...video Blog

I was recently asked to join a great group of ladies who are part of the military via wife or girlfriend. We will each post weekly a video blog answering question(s) from Jenn at Chances I'm Taking (which btw congrats on the wedding)!!!

Meet the other ladies:

Mrs. K

The Marine's Wife

Mrs. S

Mrs. Ma'am

Kat

Sarah

Jenn

Sailor's Sweetheart

31 for 21:20,21,22 & 23 pt.1

Is that cheating?  Making four post into one?  I say not (only because I don't want to be a failure).

This post is mostly going to be Military Life related.  Because it looks like we are uprooting ourselves again and heading all the way back to Kings Bay, GA!  Well, technically, the hubs will be stationed there and we will all live across the border in Jacksonville, FL.

Now, just to recap our history from 2004 until now...just so you can see why this is such a big ordeal or not for me.

July 2004 we leave GA/FL and drive all the way to L.A., California, to ship our car so, we can fly to Hawaii!  The trip was not bad at all...and plus we only had one child at the time.  But, our arrival to the airport was not going as planned and we were running LATE.  We went to the domestic flight service area to get checked in and cleared for security only to find out that we needed to be in the INTERNATIONL flight service area!  WHAT, apparently Hawaii is considered an overseas destination...when I always thought is was part of the United States.  You probably can guess by now that we missed the flight.  It wasn't so easy to catch another flight and it took almost 2 hours to find the right person to help us find a way to get to our destination.  Would  you believe the first person told me it would cost $1200 a person to catch another flight...ummm no, that was not going to happen.  In the last hour before I thought we should just swim over, a very kind man came along and took great care of us.  He rebooked our tickets to leave L.A. the next day to arrive to Hawaii.  Thank you dear sir, wherever you are!

We finally arrive to the most beautiful place on earth.  Get checked into our hotel and start relaxing and having some fun.  Because he took some time off before he checked in, we cruised around the island and took in as much as we could.  Ohhh...how I miss that place. 

The time comes when he checks into his command.  Not one person knew he was suppose to be there.  NO ONE knew why he was there.  So, they stuck him in some class until they could sort things out.  Then, we head to housing to find us a home and people there started flipping out!  See, apparantly you are suppose to check into housing within 3 days of your arrival.  We checked in about 3 weeks into our arrival.  WHY?  Because no one knew we were coming, we didn't get the "housing packet" they said they sent, and there sure wasn't a sponsor or someone to help us sort through this mess. 

WHY?  Because before our move to Hawaii, we were suppose to move to Italy in the Fall.  When he came back from deployment he said we will no longer be going to Italy, and that we will now go to Hawaii.  This was May 24, 2004.  We had to be in Hawaii no later than AUGUST 2004!  As you can imagine, nothing was done according to plan...hence the madness in the housing office.

We get our house, sorry our 1950's townhouse, and a month later we get our furniture.  OK, let's go back to his class and the "new" command.  When his class was finished, they decided to send him to another boat.  A boat that was in the middle of their work up and  in San Diego.  He flew to San Diego to meet the boat.  And would  you know that not one person was there to get him?  Again, because no one knew he was coming!!! Luckily, he's a pretty smart guy and found his way to the boat and got things taken care of.  He arrives home two weeks later and is off again in October (which is when I become pregnant with child#2).  This goes on until his deployment date in February.

Nasolacrimal duct probing part 2 (picture heavy!)

Lillian's surgery went off without a hitch!  Thank you everyone for thinking and praying for us that day!  It may have been a minor surgery, but it still had me shaking in my shoes.  It's never fun to have to see your kid wake up from anesthesia and they are scared.  That was the hardest part of the entire 10 minute procedure!

Her post op appointment went well.  The doc was really pleased with her eyes.  In fact, one of her therapist today noticed a change already.  We are all kinda shocked that her eyes are doing so well in a short amount of time!

(Sorry, the image quality on these are poor.  They were taken on cell phone)

I did want to say that the nurses and staff at the hospital were TERRIFIC!  They treated Lillian like a superstar that morning.  When we arrived and they wanted me to put her gown on her, there was the sweetest little teddy bear on her bed, just waiting.  It was a very nice gift from the hospital. One of the nurses even brought a wagon and gave her a ride down the hall!

And another great surprise!  Today in the mail, Lillian got a card from the nurses and doctors who worked with her.  I'm not sure if all hospitals do that, but it was really nice of them to do so.  They all signed it too!

Hey....if you get a chance, over to the right is a picture link to a military spouses/girlfriend competition.  I could really use some more votes...Please!

What does being a military wife mean to me?

(ETA:  The voting has commenced...please stop by her blog and vote for me...Please)

What being a Military Wife means to Me.

When my husband is out protecting our waters I take on another role.

I am now the protector of the family and of our home.

I am the nurturer and provider.

I am the jack of all trades.

When you see me, I will hold up my armor, my smile will say I'm still OK.

Tears are hidden and guarded by the his pillow that lays next to me.

I'm the  mother and now I'm the father.

I wear my silent rank proud.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation DAY!!!

Military wives endure long separations.  

We raise our children as single parents.

We learn to adopt to a new city, state, or country every couple of years.

We learn that Uncle Sam comes first.

We don't get angry over missed birthdays, anniversaries, graduations or a birth of a child.

We learn military lingo and code....India Alpha Mike Hotel Oscar Tango or Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Delta Echo Papa Limo Oscar Yankee Mike Echo November Tango Sierra

We also make great friends.

We become well rounded.

We learn to live without.

We learn to honor and cherish the ones we love.

We learn to guard our hearts and always wear a smile when life gets hard.

We are the Heroes to the Heroes.

Military Blog Hop

For the MilSpouse Blog Hop

Hi Fellow Military Wives!  And welcome to my blog!  I am a Navy Wife to a Submariner.  We have been married for almost 10 years and together for 12!  We have done deployments on a fast attack, boomer and a sub tender...finally, experiencing shore duty!  Since, November 2006, we have moved into a different home every year!  I am planning to stay in our current home for at least 2.5 years...hopefully :)  My favorite duty station has been Pearl Harbor, HI, but our short stay in Italy was just as wonderful!

As you can read from my blog description, I have three kids.  My kiddos have weathered through long distance travel and many new home addresses...but they are resilient!

Have any questions...ask away.  Just want to say, "HI" leave a comment!

Military Wife...and girlfriends too

A while ago, I got an comment from Anonymous:

It's about time I replied!

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "About being a Submariner's Wife":

My boyfriend and best friend of 2 years has just gone for the first time, any words of wisdom i feel like nothing i have ever felt before it is like losing a limb please help if you can

Honestly, it is never easy when your significant other is gone on deployment. No matter, how long he may be gone for!

But, what always held me together was being around those who were in the same boat (no pun attended!) as I was. This is when you should really seek out those significant others from your boyfriends boat who you share common interest with. You know, like your best boat friend, someone who knows what you are going through, someone you can chat with and go out with too! However, on his first boat, I didn't have a single friend! What I did have was a good support system. Having friends is the key...but good reliable friends!

When Bobby was out to sea, this was the time I always lost weight and worked out so I could look hot for him when he got back. I was able to catch up with my hobbies and got things done that I always put off.

Anyone out there who has anymore advice??? Please share them!