A Hapa Girl and her Hapa Family!

For the longest time, I have thought about this subject and just didn't know where to begin!  I am, for the most part, a happy person.  I tend to look on the brighter side of things...but sometimes I get caught up in the moment too.

My blog has been very bleak since October, and there is a really good reason why!  I was lost.  Not at a lost for words, but really at a lost in personality.  I lost the ability to smile for a bit and to see the brighter side.  But, like I said only for a bit.

So, today's subject might be a little difficult (for me), but I have to realize that I am not the only person who ever felt lost! Right?

In October, my Monkey Girl...Lillian, had her very first Speech Evaluation!  Now, I know, she has delays.  But this one just punched me in the face.  At 20 months, her Speech Evaluation indicated that she was communicating at a 9 - 12 month age range.  Physically, she is as strong as can be!  She's super smart and just so darn cute!  Her babbling just wasn't getting her anywhere.  Her signing was at a minimal.  She communicated by being loud or physically taking the stuff she wanted.

But let me go back...I was punched in the face!  I didn't want to cry, so I just sat.  Crying might have been better, because keeping it in hurt more.

During this time, I had my own evaluation with my doctor.  I checked out OK, but mentally that is where I broke down.  I cried for the first time.  My doctor listened, held my hand and gave me some tissue.  Her answer was Prozac.  Prozac!

I've been on Prozac before.  After the birth of Charlie, I needed it!  Post Partum Depression is no joke!

But, did I really need it this time?  I wasn't so sure.

My biggest problem was now being honest with everyone.  I mean, I'm the one who tells people to get over it, and it will get better.  I really really needed that for myself.  So, after my doctor's visit, I had to make this decision to either stay lost or to get over it and move forward.

I took the Prozac, slowly getting over, but I'm definitely moving forward...what more can I do?

Well, I wish my thoughts ended here.  I have more to say.  They will come later.