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September 15, 2010

Burden

I know, it’s been a very long while since I’ve made any updates to my blog.  I’ve thought and thought and contemplated about ending it.  I’m at a place where blogging about Down syndrome wasn’t so important to me.  I thought that my journey was complete. You know, since Lillian having Down syndrome takes very little space and time in my life, it just didn’t seem like her every little movement or new trick seemed all that exciting anymore (exciting enough to blog about at least).  She is just Lillian…our little tornado! And since being a Navy wife isn’t so exciting when you’re husband is on shore duty, I didn’t have anything fun or witty to share.

But, maybe I’m not done. 

So, the topic of my post today is called “Burden”.  Many times I hear the same story of why a family chooses to abort a child with a disability.  And the main focus is the burden factor.  If you really think about it, most children can be a burden.  They take up your time, space and money.  If I was childless, I would have more money to spend and so much free time that I could take a daily nap if I wanted.  BUT, you see, my children are not burden’s, because I love them.  All of them.

One of my favorite TV shows, “Parenthood” brought this one word in my mind.  The story line is the daughter learning to drive, the mother becomes very irrational, she thinks about the what ifs.  She worries about her son (who has Autism) and who will take care of him when she and her husband are no longer around.  And during a very emotional moment she tells her daughter that she doesn’t want to put that burden on her daughter, to be Max’s care taker.  And a change of momentum happens when the daughter says something on these lines “I will take care of him…He’s my brother…He’s not a burden, I love him”. 

That made me realize that when you raise a family to love, that there will be no burdens.  My children are loved so much, that I can’t possibly think of them as my burdens.  And I just know that my Katie and Charlie will have so much love that Lillian will never be a burden on them. 

So, I will forever think that the burden factor is a cop out.  It shows me that somewhere down the line, you forgot how to show and give love and the only thing you pass down is the burden of a sad memory.

5 comments:

  1. Oh you remind me I want to start watching parenthood. I think your blog should keep going :) even when you only can post here and there...

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  2. Glad to see you back! Love the post!

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  3. Great post!!!

    I don't ever think the word "burden" has ever crossed my mind whenever it came to my children. My obligation to them as a parent is to provide them the best life I can possibly provide them and doing so is definitely not a burden...it is more like an adventure! =)

    Our babies are so loved and taken care of by their siblings that I know Cody will be fine long after I am gone.

    Thanks for sharing, Sonia!

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  4. I saw that episode and cried during that part. I think about my daughter and how she will see Lucas and I hope that she will never see him as a burden. I know she loves him now and doesn't see him any differently but someday she might, I'm just not ready for that.

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  5. Erin, it completely changed the whole point of the episode for me. But I'm
    glad I saw it. Also, there will be a lot of things in our journey that we
    probably won't be ready for. We can only hope for the best.

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