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October 26, 2008

I used to be one of those people.

I was just thinking about the type of person I use to be.  I never caused trouble (because I never got caught!), I always did my best at home and at school.  I was not popular.  I didn't have a boyfriend until college.  I had few friends, but still keep in touch with them.  I didn't learn to drive until I was 18.  I was plain.  I often thought people should just get over it, because I did.  I know for a fact I used the "retard" word a lot!

Fast forward to February 2006.  My son was 6 months and I just couldn't get over it.  I suffered from Postpartum Depression and it was horrible.  I couldn't understand why I couldn't just get over it, like I had done in the past.  It wasn't until I broke down in my doctor's office that I realized I needed help.

Fast forward again to February 2008.  The birth of my third child, Lillian.  I now have a child who will suffer (or not suffer) from some mental disability.  I really need to stop using the "r" now.  

I guess my point of this blog is that it's almost natural for people to pick or make fun of something they don't know about.  Things that are foreign to them.  And until they are directly affected by the "unknown" it's almost hard to stop those actions.  I remember thinking that PPD is fake.  How could someone be so down and depressed after having a beautiful child?  I learned that it was something I couldn't control.  I remember thinking that using the "retard" word for fun was harmless.  But, after Lillian's birth, I learned how badly it hurt to hear it.  I wish now that I could change some of the things that came out of my mouth, but I can't.  So, I go on and hope that I can now directly affect someone that I come across to change their thoughts and opinions of the "unknown" for them, so they to can be a better person and lead by example.

Now, wouldn't that make for a better world?

Oh...February must be something special for me.  My birthday is in February, I was diagnosed with PPD in February, my designer baby was born in February!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, this post resonates with me. I can relate to so much of it - PPD, my previous propensity to use the R word, and now, how much it hurts to hear that word.

    I have to tell you that I seriously cry every time I check your blog because that version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow you have playing . . . it's so beautiful and it just gets me right in my heart.



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