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July 21, 2009

RE: Down syndrome question about suffering

First, I want to say Thank YOU to each and everyone one of you guys for answering my question. Some of you are parents who have a child with Down syndrome and some don't. I guess it really doesn't matter, because the answers you gave were in support and acknowledgment that Down syndrome does NOT equal suffering.

To respond to my own question I would probably begin by standing on the tallest mountain screaming to the top of my lungs, "My daughter has Down syndrome! She is happy, moody, and a lot of fun! She has Down syndrome, not an affliction! AND SHE IS DEFINITELY NOT SUFFERING!"

Is that clear enough?

OK, really. This is all coming from some articles and blog sites who view Down syndrome as a form of suffering. In all honesty, how do you tell them that being different does not mean suffering? Truly, if that were the case, I would be suffering daily. I don't fit into that mold of being perfect. I'm fat. I'm short. I am half Korean and half Black, not even one solid race. I must be suffering...right?

But maybe, those who think that Lillian is suffering is only wishing it were true. They could be the ones who are truly suffering because they know they aren't perfect. They see flaws in themselves that they can't fix and it caused them suffering. Surely, though this kind of suffering is more emotional than physical. And that can be changed. Emotional suffering can be healed, even the physical.

I do know for sure, that I can't change the fact that Lillian has Down syndrome. I won't ask GOD to fix her because I know she if perfect, his gift from him to us. But I can guarantee that she is not suffering and in any pain. I wouldn't allow that to happen. Not to her. Not to her brother and sister.


  1. I hear ya! I get so angry that people think my daughter suffers because she was born with Down syndrome. I've heard this comment so many times. Most of the time has been on the news. That just burns me up. It also shows me how ignorant people can be.

  2. I think the media needs a good inservice on the fact that our children do not suffer from DS....I don't know who does their writing but I hear it all the time too and I'm so tired of it. It must make for "better" TV if people are "suffering"....they are so wrong.

  3. Hi!! Yeah, He just finished boot camp and is off to school... Only 7 more weeks and we'll all be off on an adventure!
    Thanks for the Welcome!! :)

  4. I just had this conversation with my husband in the car the other day. It is definitely an ignorant statement. Lily isn't suffering from anything!!! OK, at the present time, maybe a little constipation...LOL. Poor baby!

  5. Hi this is my first time visiting your blog and may I say your little Lillian is so so cute. As for your post it was very well put. I have never asked God to change my LO even in the early days of the prenatal diagnosis because I really feel that he is perfect and just the way God intended.
    I also think people use the idea of suffering as an excuse for termination, making themselves feel as if they are correct in their choice. I believe it's an old, dated, idea that us parents have to do our best to fight.

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